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Tuesday, February 5, 2008 But alas, I am naive. We live in the era of the "child-man," and strippers still make appearances at bachelor parties--even parties of guys you otherwise consider dateable (i.e., not just misogynist jerks who spend all their time playing Halo 3 and posting on men's rights boards). Since I don't approve of strippers in really any context, I am not pleased by this development. I'm not sure why paying to watch naked women (or worse, getting a lap dance--which should definitely be off-limits) is somehow sanctioned just because you/your friend is getting married soon. But apparently the bachelor party is some kind of "get out of jail free" card, where you can misbehave in a way you wouldn't normally have to the nerve to--like this cretin: "Being a married man, I don't get that many chances to see naked women other than my wife," said David Eddie, a novelist who flew in from Toronto for the Beeman weekend. "So I guess I felt like that would have been an opportunity." Although he enjoyed the pate, the first-growths and all the clubby perks, he felt that something was lacking. "My thought was, There's only so much happiness you can take in through your mouth," he said.("An opportunity?" I seriously hope this guy's wife maxed out the credit cards after reading this and bought herself something expensive and sparkly.) But then in the age of Maxim and Abercrombie & Fitch ads, are strippers really such a big deal--especially if the guy in question doesn't make the strip club thing a habit? Mark Oppenheimer does have a point here: Which suggests how pro forma strippers can be. More often than men would like to admit, bachelor parties happen at strip clubs because that's what our culture has expected of men. What's more, the bachelor party used to be the last time a man could expect to see a naked woman other than his wife; but in these days of American Apparel advertising, starlets wear Oscar dresses more revealing than much of what used to pass for burlesque wear.And if we can be practical for a moment, not dating men who don't think strippers are morally offensive probably means not dating--which is not a desirable outcome. (N.B.: Since this is an equal opportunity blog, all the ongoing applies to bachelorette "revenge" parties too, which are slightly less gross, but only because they are mostly just pathetic (Note that "revenge" part). Does anyone seriously think women are "getting their fiance's back" by having wild parties of their own?) Labels: gender wars posted by Cheryl # 10:33 AM
Comments:
Cheryl, you seem quite bright, why is it you buy into the whole culture of women's bodies being some prize in the contest of money, culture etc. I get this from you saying you hope the guy's wife ran up the credit cards. This is a very old fashioned and sublimaly deeply sexist notion, that men have the money and power and women only reelase peeks at their bodies for some of the above. Have you ever been to a nude beach or resort? Women arent chattel for the most part there, although some men are incurable panderers and some women like to be chattel. (as well as some men, I might add)
Anyway, it was a thoughtful piece but I think you are stuck in retro feminisim, which truly changed our country and gave us a great candidate like Hilllary, but which has moved on. Women revenge parties? Men seeing a naked woman for the last time? Get real! Thanks for your ideas and the chance to respond, fellow journalism fellow Frank
Hi Frank, thanks for commenting, but I'm not quite sure I understand what your objection to my "retro feminism" is. I don't think my disapproval of men paying strippers has anything to do with Andrea Dworkin and her ilk. Certainly many social conservatives would also disapprove (e.g. C.S. Lewis and all that stuff about lust and using people as means, not ends...). And wouldn't strip clubs by your own definition (men having money and power, and women revealing their bodies in return for that money) be "deeply sexist"?
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